Sunday, February 27, 2011

Day 203

Maybe i should blog more often to record down my everyday life.

Ask me about what happen last monday and i can tell you i don't recall at all. Getting old...

Been thinking about her most of the time, ermm more like every single moment.. wondering what she's doing, wondering where she is, wondering if she's enjoying herself, wondering if she still think about me like i do. Life really sucks without her around. I thought i can get over this situation easily but it really seems hard. Every single time when i look at the portrait of photo on my wall that says 1095 days with Kai and the small little comment saying :

"21st Oct 2006 - 21st Oct 2009... till forever :)
Let's count the days okie?"

my heart sank immediately. I really don't know if i can ever enter her heart back. There was once where i wrote an sms to her saying

"(bla bla bla i forgot what i wrote) kinda miss you though"

she replied:

"(bla bla bla not relevant) u'r making me scared"

GG. Min 1 Kai 0.

How How How? i think i'm not trying hard enough. but daily sms to her will make me feel like i'm annoying her. Sigh.

Now i have a lot of free time to play WOW. When i was with her i complained of not having enough time for myself. Now that i have ample time for myself, i realise i don't really need them that much. i rather spend it with her. I guess its too late to regret... is it? or is it not..?

How can i proceed? How can i find my way back to her heart?

I guess nobody knows the answer except her. maybe i have alrdy been locked out of her heart and the key has been thrown away into the Pacific ocean and only a miracle can help me find the key back.

Sigh. Life sucks. i hope i can get a iphone soon so that i can what's app her instead of sms-ing as i hear her mention sms is very mafan thus i seldom get her reply back.

I just hope i can change the title of "Day ***" to like "Day 1095 + 280 + 1"

1095 for 2006 - 2009, 280 for 2009 - 29th July 2010, and 1 for the day i step back into her heart.

Miss her loads.

oh yea. Watched Dead Silence today online. kept predicting how her reaction will be if she's watching it with me. hmmm.

Lesson tomorrow at 12 - 3. After that. home alone again... what a losecify post.

-Kai the loser-